I have been to the depths of my pain over the past 18 months, I can say this with complete conviction. I went there. I dove into the abyss. I let the overwhelm, fear, unknown and dark caves wash over me. I also surrendered to the notion of ‘whatever was meant for me, won’t miss me’.
Prior to this I was resisting and I was depressed. I really didn’t like my life despite there being so much to be grateful for. Ironically I was making the most money I had made in my investments and business and was still depressed. I was absolutely sure that wasn’t who I was but I still wasn’t sure how to find that playful-joyful-lightness I once knew, either. The restrictions and pandemic energy did not help 👀
I knew I needed more joy, more likeminded connection and more play. I knew that I didn’t wanna keep living like this. I knew how I wanted to feel.
I stopped working in April 2022 and gave myself permission to take the year off and explore. I resisted at first but with the uncovering of repressed childhood memories, I needed to do this for my inner child, that little girl inside of me was yearning to have some FUN and be taken care of. She was no longer available for serious, driven, work-mode Brooke. She missed spaciousness, creativity, joy, community, variety and ease. She missed people. People that made her heart sing.
Together, we explored…
who I am.
what I want.
what life can look like when I am not hustling, working, building and creating.
Yielding, receiving and flowing is what 2022 felt like for me.
There was a lot of connection, joy, laughter, exploration, travel and learning.
I learnt about me, about others and about my likes and dislikes in a far more potent way than ever before.
Most importantly, I healed.
I healed so fucking much.
I healed the parts of me that thought I weren’t enough.
The parts of me that felt broken when it came to intimacy and body love.
The parts of me that thought I would never find love with an aligned partner because I am too broken and fucked up.
To reflect back on the past year is so comforting.
I am so proud of how far I’ve come.
It had everything to do with leaning in over tuning out.
It had everything to do with unlearning over learning more.
I know exactly what I want, what I deserve and what I’ll give when the right partner presents themselves.
To say that with conviction feels so powerful!
If you’re craving joy, connection and play right now you owe it to yourself to answer the call.
Life is what happens when we’re busy having fun or not having fun. I prefer the former over the latter.
Don’t wait to live the life your inner child demands of you.
It’ll all unfold as it’s meant to, if you listen intently, compassionately and gently.