What I’ve noticed is entrepreneurs, for the most part, have a core wound of ‘I am not enough’ ‘I could never be worthy of love by just being me’ ‘I need to provide value in order to be cared for and loved’ and the ultimate insecurity being ‘I am loved for what I do, not who I am’.
We’re all performers to a certain extent, until performing completely disconnects us from ourselves and everything that feels rich and true. Rich and true. Everything that is rich and true is typically intrinsic, it’s a felt sense, it’s experiential, it is not extrinsic, it doesn’t involve anything we are led to believe will make us ‘happy’ or provide ‘lasting contentment.
So many entrepreneurs, especially those with a lot of money, power and respect are the most disconnected from the intrinsic value that is actually ever present, for all of us.
Source, nature, intimacy, connection, truth, peace, rest, slow living, grief, deeply feeling, ugly crying and connecting to our bodies are all intrinsic or felt sense experiences that many entrepreneurs avoid. They avoid it because it can’t be controlled. Emotions are unruly, like a wild fire and for the typical entrepreneur, very unappealing.
Everyone is obsessed with bio-hacking and maximising everything that people forget the very thing they’re looking for, is love. Love is present in the slowing down, the rest, the distraction free time. Yet, the typical entrepreneur is on the hamster wheel of personal development, hacking their way through life, hoping to find someplace that has been within them all along. All that is required is they slow down and open to experience it.
Entrepreneurship and competition have historically gone hand in hand. Competition is the opposite of love.
How can I outperform or win? How can I be the best? How can I beat myself? How can I be respected? How can I be admired? How can I be different? All questions asked by someone who believes they’re not enough. When ‘not enoughness’ or ‘ego’ is in charge, it’s never enough, no matter what’s achieved, what you have, how you’re respected or what you offer. The reason these questions are asked is because this part of us believes, if I achieve or conquer all these things then I will avoid suffering and feel the confidence, love and peace I so deeply desire.
Entrepreneurship and presence are what can go hand in hand when we slow down. We all hunger for love and love can only be experienced in the present moment. The reason I say this is because everyone ‘thinks’ the next deal, talk, achievement, weight goal or financial milestone is gonna be the thing that gets them the golden ticket (the love, intimacy and contentment they desire) but what it does, is it keeps you working incredibly hard for something that doesn’t exist.
This usually leads to burn out, resentment and a thorough reassessment.
The main reason anyone becomes anything is because there’s childlike hope and promise that love and safety will be on the other side of ‘said thing’.
I think of the greyhound chasing the rabbit around the track. If only the greyhound could go faster, then it could catch the rabbit, so let’s optimise, hack and figure out a way to move at speed instead of slowing down and choosing presence which results in love, which is actually what we want.
What happens should the greyhound catch the rabbit? Well, they’ll feel a hit of dopamine for a moment and then try and optimise chasing the next rabbit, until they die.
Imagine what we could create if compassion instead of competition were the motivator.
Presence is the new competition. Do you know how much time you get back when you’re present? When we’re burning the midnight oil, we rob ourselves of our life force. Life force is love. Hacking and moving at such speed robs us of love. Love is what we want. Compassion is what we need. Presence is how we arrive. Over and over again.